10 MISTAKES – PART II: Worry: The Poison in Our Thoughts
Sameer Kamboj, SKC World
The mistakes we make are rooted in attempting exploration while remaining entangled in the web of our compulsive personalities. Here, mistakes are in reference to scaling up our personal lives and, consequently, our businesses.
The first compulsive mistake we talked about was Lust; the second one is Worry.
Worry is the brooding that happens when a person’s fear and helplessness take root. It is the endless waves of thoughts, that spin like a bottomless whirlpool, and threaten to sink you.
Brooding should not be confused with “thinking”. Brooding is when your mind churns past data to project and extrapolate it into the future, thereby recreating an image from the past. Thinking, on the other hand, is without the influences or burdens of past success or failure. It is a state in which a free mind observes itself and the situation through the lens of reality and truth.
Deep Thinking: A Prerequisite to Planning
Planning requires one to be in tune with oneself. It requires one to delve into the deeper chambers of the mind. Such deep thinking requires a calm mind, in a state of balance and peace, devoid of worry; worry is a sign of imbalance, which is caused by fear, comparisons, and a need to prove, all of which lead to unreasonable expectations (high or low).
Even while we know that we can do more, and have the potential to get more done, we are stuck in a loop of endless firefighting, leaving us with little time and energy to think and plan. We remain helpless. This gives rise to even more fears and unreasonable expectations. It is a vicious circle.
With such a mental state, we resort to brooding. Deep thinking becomes impossible.
Why Do You Worry?
A brooding mind enters a cycle where it starts to produce stress, resulting in numbness. Remember, brooding is also a form of thinking, but an involuntary and compulsive form. The mind keeps resurrecting demons from the past and projects them into the future. Each time we think of a positive and bright future, the brooding mind doubts the optimistic outcomes based on the traumatic past.
“Worrying is thus a compulsive and involuntary mental chatter. It transforms an intelligent person, fully capable of scale, success, and joy, into a meek survivor.”
Whether you are a homemaker, a social worker, or a monk, it applies to you equally. Please read and apply the following to your personal and family life before applying it to your professional life. In this context, there are two types of entrepreneurs:
Type 1: Not aware of the need for thinking and planning.
Many entrepreneurs live their lives one sales order to another. Their organisations also live like that. It is their customers who define their growth. They hustle to cope with the pace of growth of their customers.
They apply various techniques to professionalise their operations, only to become better suppliers to those clients. They do not define the market or the industry, they do not add any value, they rarely innovate. They only make money.
Type 2: Aware of the need for thinking and planning but stuck in everyday crises.
These entrepreneurs are aware of the need to think, but do not know how to think. You see, thinking requires one to access and analyse past data, but remain unaffected by it. However, when we are deeply affected by the past, we are unable to think. It is like a grieving person; he or she cannot think.
“Crisis is just a state of mind; it is not the ground reality.” When we brood, we relive and reprocess past events. We come up with the same conclusions, in repackaged forms. Planning without deep thinking is steeped in multiple fears, over- or underestimation, and a need for survival.
Worry or Peace?
Only a peaceful mind can think. In fact, “Peace” indicates freedom from the past, freedom from brooding.
The most common mistake people make is to overly depend on tools, frameworks, and models of thinking, planning, and goal setting, without a calm and stable mind, or clear intent.
Make no mistake, planning and thinking tools are like any other tools. A surgeon needs to have stable hands, a calm mind, and the right intent to use her tools effectively, else a scalpel used for surgery can quickly become a life-threatening weapon.
You need to choose between living with your unconscious habit of worry or becoming peaceful through the methods of consciousness.
Make Time for Yourself NOW
Please do not assume that having the best tools will automatically help us scale. Your success will depend on how effectively you use those tools. And how you will use your tools will depend on how calm and peaceful you are.
“Peace is not an end goal you pursue. It is the prerequisite to an abundant life.”
You can pretend to be at peace with yourself and others, but life has a way of showing the truth. Acceptance is the first step to change.
Sameer KambojGCG member firm
Advisory, Auditing & Accounting, Tax
New Delhi, India
T: +91 11 41324 619
Published: GGI Insider, No. 113, May 2021 l Photo: deagreez - stock.adobe.com